How Not To Do It
This week we are learning about David, Nabal and Abigail. The passage is found in 1 Samuel 25:1-35. Today, however, we will be focusing on Nabal.
4-8 David, out in the backcountry, heard that Nabal was shearing his sheep and sent ten of his young men off with these instructions: “Go to Carmel and approach Nabal. Greet him in my name, ‘Peace! Life and peace to you. Peace to your household, peace to everyone here! I heard that it’s sheep-shearing time. Here’s the point: When your shepherds were camped near us we didn’t take advantage of them. They didn’t lose a thing all the time they were with us in Carmel. Ask your young men—they’ll tell you. What I’m asking is that you be generous with my men—share the feast! Give whatever your heart tells you to your servants and to me, David your son.’”
9-11 David’s young men went and delivered his message word for word to Nabal. Nabal tore into them, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? The country is full of runaway servants these days. Do you think I’m going to take good bread and wine and meat freshly butchered for my sheepshearers and give it to men I’ve never laid eyes on? Who knows where they’ve come from?”
David and his men had been hanging out in the wilderness of Moan. All Summer long they had been in the area where Nabal’s men were herding his sheep & goats. All Summer long they had been offering protection to the sheep and the shepherds. No animals had gone missing, no men were harmed in any way. No other roaming bands or wild animals had been allowed to harm Nabal’s livestock or men either – because David and his men were protecting them.
So, David sends some guys over while the party is getting started and asks if they can join in. Nabal is setting up a big celebration, and David is merely asking if they can come, and perhaps get some payment for the protection they offered all season long.
David’s men come to Nabal and make this request, and the are met with… resistance.
Nabal, foolish Nabal. He offers ridicule and insult on top of not showing any gratitude for the protection they offered. He pretends that he doesn’t know who David is, even while fully acknowledging who he is. He sneers at David for being on the run from King Saul. He ridicules them in a variety of ways and refuses to even acknowledge that they helped him out.
David and his men could have easily fed themselves throughout the season on roasted lamb. They could have borrowed a ewe or ten to get fresh milk and fed themselves with fresh cheese and butter – but they didn’t. Not only did they abstain from taking some of the herds for themselves, but they kept everything else from taking any of the livestock as well.
How often has it happened that you offer help to someone else and they throw it back in your face.
How often has someone else offered help to you, and you were the less-than-gracious recipient of that assistance?
Watching my own children I get to see this played out regularly. Child #1 will be doing a chore. Child #2 will come along and help her so that it is finished more quickly and they can play sooner. When it comes time for the roles to be swapped, child #1 refuses to help out because “I didn’t want her to help in the first place! I never asked her to help, she just did it!”
This is obviously not the correct response.
When others help us out, how should we respond?
We should react with gratitude and thankfulness – even when it means taking a notch off of our pride to do so. We need to recognize the blessing of assistance – even when it wasn’t asked for – and express gratitude.
And we should never react with ridicule and distain. That only leads to greater levels of conflict.
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